Why Is It So Hard to Change? Overcoming Fear and Resistance to Personal Growth
We all have habits, attitudes, and emotional patterns that don’t serve us well—whether it’s procrastination, self-doubt, or reacting emotionally in ways we later regret. So why is it so hard to commit to change, even when we know it would improve our lives?
The truth is, our brains are wired to resist change. We prefer the discomfort we know to the uncertainty of something new. Even if we’re unhappy, anxious, or stuck in negative cycles, stepping into the unknown can feel riskier than staying where we are. But what if the fear of change is actually keeping us from the emotional freedom we crave?
The Symptoms: How Resistance to Change Shows Up in Our Lives
Change resistance doesn’t just exist in our thoughts—it plays out in our emotions, behaviors, and relationships. Here are some common ways we might experience it:
Emotional Overwhelm – The idea of making a big shift in our lives feels daunting or even paralyzing.
Negative Self-Talk – Thoughts like “I’ll never change,” “This is just who I am,” or “What if I fail?” keep us stuck.
Avoidance & Procrastination – We put off decisions, ignore our emotions, or distract ourselves to avoid discomfort.
Relationship Struggles – Our reactions to others are often shaped by unresolved emotional patterns that we don’t know how to break.
The Science of Staying Stuck: Why We Resist Change
Neuroscience shows that our brains crave predictability because it helps us feel safe. Even if a pattern is unhealthy, it’s still familiar. Studies on habit formation indicate that over 40% of our daily actions are habitual (Wood et al., 2002), meaning they run on autopilot without conscious decision-making.
Our brain’s "limbic system", responsible for emotional interpretations and survival responses, tends to resist change because new behaviors require more cognitive effort. The prefrontal cortex, which helps us make rational decisions, can be easily overridden by the limbic system’s fear-based reactions.
The Role of Neuroplasticity: The Brain’s Ability to Change
The good news? Our brains are capable of change through neuroplasticity, the process by which neural pathways are rewired through new experiences and repeated actions. However, change requires conscious effort and repetition, which can feel exhausting at first. This is why people often fall back into old habits before new ones fully take hold.
A study from the European Journal of Social Psychology found that it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit (Lally et al., 2009). The first few weeks feel difficult because our neural pathways are still wired for the old behaviors. But with persistence, the new behaviors become easier and eventually automatic.
Why Fear of Failure Keeps Us Stuck
Additionally, the fear of failure plays a big role. A study by the University of Scranton found that only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year’s resolutions (Norcross et al., 2002). The reason? The discomfort of change outweighs the motivation to follow through.
Our brains interpret failure as a threat to our self-identity, triggering stress responses that discourage us from trying again. The more we experience setbacks, the more likely we are to adopt a fixed mindset, believing we are incapable of change (Dweck, 2006). This belief keeps us in our comfort zones, even when those zones aren’t serving us.
Breaking Through Resistance: How Awareness Helps
One of the most effective ways to overcome resistance is awareness. By recognizing that fear and discomfort are natural parts of the change process, we can begin to shift our reactions.
Mindfulness and Emotional Awareness – Observing our thoughts without judgment helps break automatic resistance.
Small, Consistent Steps – Making gradual changes rather than drastic ones reduces overwhelm.
Emotional Resolution® (EmRes®) – Clearing emotional imprints helps remove unconscious blocks that keep us stuck.
The Real Cost of Staying the Same
While staying in our comfort zone may feel safe, it comes at a cost:
Increased Anxiety & Stress – Suppressing emotions leads to more internal tension
Stagnation in Relationships – Unresolved emotional triggers cause conflicts and misunderstandings
Lower Self-Worth – When we feel stuck, we often internalize it as failure.
Health Consequences – Chronic stress from emotional avoidance can contribute to issues like high blood pressure and digestive problems (Harvard Medical School, 2018).
A Guide to Change: How Emotional Resolution® (EmRes®) Can Help
When we’re trapped in emotional cycles, we need a way to break free. Emotional Resolution (EmRes) is a process that helps you release unresolved emotional triggers without reliving the past or analyzing why they exist.
Unlike repetitive coping strategies that only help us manage emotions temporarily, EmRes works by helping the body process stored emotional imprints naturally—freeing us from recurring patterns. This means:
No need to talk through old wounds – The body resolves emotions through sensation-based awareness.
Relief happens quickly – Many people notice a shift after just one session.
The change lasts – Once an emotional imprint is cleared, it doesn’t come back.
Life Beyond Resistance: How Emotional Resolution Transforms Emotional Well-Being
When we break free from emotional patterns using Emotional Resolution® (EmRes®), our emotional life transforms in profound ways.
Greater Inner Peace – Free from past emotional burdens, we experience more calm and clarity.
Improved Relationships – Emotional resilience allows us to respond rather than react, leading to deeper connections.
Increased Confidence & Self-Worth – No longer held back by old fears, we feel empowered to pursue what truly matters.
Enhanced Mental & Physical Health – A lighter emotional load means reduced stress, better sleep, and overall well-being.
By choosing to step out of our comfort zones and resolve our emotional imprints, we unlock a freer, more fulfilling life—one where we are no longer controlled by past experiences, but instead, fully present and engaged in each moment.
Change Is Not to Be Feared
Change often feels daunting because our minds create false predictions about the future, reinforcing our fears. EmRes removes these inaccurate emotional imprints, allowing us to approach new experiences with clarity rather than fear. Without these false alarms guiding our emotions, we can embrace change as a natural and empowering process—one that leads to emotional freedom, personal growth, and deeper connections with others.
References:
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Harvard Medical School. (2018). The Long-Term Effects of Stress on the Body. Retrieved from Harvard Health
Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2009). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998-1009.
Norcross, J. C., Mrykalo, M. S., & Blagys, M. D. (2002). Auld Lang Syne: Success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year's resolvers and nonresolvers. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(4), 397-405.
Wood, W., Quinn, J. M., & Kashy, D. A. (2002). Habits in everyday life: Thought, emotion, and action. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(6), 1281-1297.
About Sue
Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Ft Worth, Tx, USA.
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